I know its not the most watched programme and it is on at the same time as Coronation Street on ITV I think, but I do watch it quite often, as it features some topical and local issues and presented in an easy and very affable style. Last night it featured people who are scammed, or ripped-off, conned, by falling into a love trap on the internet usually when on a dating site, and when completely false identities are used, often using some other photo of some other identity and sadly an innocent victim. The BBC featured American military identities being used, and sometimes dead soldiers. The BBC are right to highlight this horrid and sick crime. It seems that women do it all the time!
OK it was a valid story and worth doing, but that is one of many devious deceits and deceptions that can be found on the net EVERYDAY! And they are found even on sites like Facebook, MySpace and the other social networks. But whilst I have every sympathy for the people that fall into these traps, I really think it is important to know that men fall into these traps too!
I also think some hints and tips could have been issued to avoid it happening, rather than just say the normal thing like "be vigilant" and "never trust strangers". These con artists do give out clues. Almost ALWAYS their English is poor, and I do not mean "text speak" English, or abbreviated email standards, or even lazy badly written English, it is English that sticks out like a sore thumb-but then I am an English Teacher and even I make mistakes, especially when rushed and very often on the net, but there will always be a few clues! Sites like Twitter do not have them in such numbers, as the words to use are so limited, and you either have to be basic, which can be rude and crude, or you have to be quite clever and erudite in an innovative way, that people like Stephen Fry have mastered.
When they introduce themselves they may even say they come from a town or district. If they do not say where they are from-then ask them. In other words carry out some checks. "Hi, nice to hear from you, where you from?"Then you check them out. Do not carry on the dialogue. Stop there and you can get back later. Suppose they say they are from some big city or town, or even a small community, then get straight onto Google and get a picture of the place, or a map, or even a relevant website-often there is something like a Council/Local Government or a Chamber of Commerce website and you will be able to find some features of that place. I once did this when an "American woman" made romantic overtures to me. I noticed the town she claimed she came from had a really popular drive through Restaurant at a prime location in the area. So my next email just popped the question " I think I went there once-is Ziggys restaurant still popular?" I then give the conversation a lot more time-hours, even days. Their reply may ignore my question, so now you should be alerteted. Then I introduce one of my set-ups. I find out the names of say the two schools.I use two other names and ask them which one they went to. This tests them further, where they could be honest and say I am wrong or state that they do not know them, or they could fall right into my trap and say one of them! Even if they have lived there a few weeks they must know something-even if it is nothing so to speak!!! Even when you have tested that remember they could still be on the con. I got the reply from my teasing tests "oh you know my town well" -with no response one way or another, so that suggests a con, so instantly cease. Basic psychology is when there IS common ground, people will talk in that area, as they feel safe. Yes I know you are now a bit deceptive but you are not a liar! We all need to use any tools in our toolbox!
I actually got someone from Norfolk posing to me, but she was on holiday apparently. I know Norfolk well, so I chatted about various places like Cromer and Swaffham and she seemingly did not have a clue, and did not follow the conversation I was feeding. She laid her trap very soon, as she felt I must have been comfortable. She claimed she needed money to return home - as I let her believe I was falling for her. So I told her I would go to Norfolk and get all her friends and neighbours pay for her return. I then offered to fly to her with the money. I had no intention of doing it. The emails dried up. I doubt it was a woman, and I am sure it was one big con.
Very often they ask for money on Western Union, or use a hotmail or yahoo address, there are many clues. But there are genuine people out there too.
Men seem to be gullible to people who pretend to be young Asian or East European ladies. This is often because their cultures are so different that their differences, poor English etc seem so logical or rational. But even that gives out clues. They often say as young women that they want the security of an older man, or the young men they meet are too irresponsible or drunk. If they have recently set up profiles then they are certainly on the make! But American identities are used often too where they act as shy, demure and often religious types-they love a Brit apparently.
Another tease to use for the innocent, to avoid the con, is a bit of further deception and say you are not at home, and that you are on holiday. Remember you could be emailing from anywhere on the internet. The trouble is that we are all basically decent and honest people and we do not go out of our way to deceive-well most of us! Thats why these people do it and continue to succeed. I actually say I am on holiday in Lagos when they get curious, and I offer to bring the money to them personally, as 9 times out of 10, they are in Nigeria. That has always silenced them.
And sometimes I really am in Lagos!
Another thing I notice is the list of friends they have-many are the same people who turn up frequently! That is a clue in itself. I have even made friends myself with some of the men that are targeted as I warn them!
But the internet is not the cause of the problem, its merely a conduit, a conduit of life in a microcosm.
